Fuck you, world.

My comments on this: Peas break chart record in the US

The Black Eyed Peas have broken a US chart record by notching up 20 weeks on top of the singles countdown.

I have no more faith in humanity.

The R&B act's song I Gotta Feeling has claimed an eighth week at number one, following 12 weeks at pole position with Boom Boom Pow.

Song? Song?! Have you heard it? It's the dullest, most unimaginative piece of audio shit I've ever had the misfortune to accidentally hear.

Their record beats Usher, who held the number one spot for 19 weeks in 2004 with Yeah! and Burn.

Usher? Really? He had the record before? Well, it seems the majority of people paying for music are cunts. Well done America.

Black Eyed Peas frontwoman Fergie said it is "amazing to know that these songs have connected with so many people".

Yeah, of course you connected with people. Because it's such a deep and meaningful song, it works on so many levels. Oh wait, you know what? I think the reason people buy the song is that it reminds them of a drug-fuelled stomp to a repetitive beat on a Friday night while surrounded by similar-minded cockrags, and NOT, as you say, that it forms some emotional connection with the listener. Get your head out of your own anus Fergie, you horse-faced fuckup.

Fellow Black Eyed Peas member Will.i.am said: "With this kind of success your ego wants to take all the credit. But your heart reminds your soul that it was your heart that had you slaving and creating in the studio making the music. In the fight between heart and ego my heart always wins."

WHAT? What the fuck does that even MEAN? Did someone just spring you out of the hospital? Did you bang your head a bit hard when you fell out of bed this morning?

In the UK chart, the band's single I Gotta Feeling returned to the number one spot this week.

Fuck you, United Kingdom. Somebody should punch you in the cock.

In May, Boom [Boom] Pow also spent time on top of the rundown.

Boom Boom Pow. Another meaningful song that connects with listeners; it, of course, being a follow up from their heartfelt double A-side, "La La Coochie" and "Wakka wakka doo doo"

Singer Jason Mraz also set a US chart record this week, clocking up 70 weeks on the Billboard Hot 100 with his song I'm Yours.

Meh. 70 weeks in the top 100. That's 100, not 40 like we have over here. Not much of a feat really. It basically means he sold at least one copy every week for 70 weeks. I expect his Mum is running out of room for them.

It surpasses LeAnn Rimes' record of 69 weeks held for almost 11 years with How Do I Live.

How the fuck DO you live with yourselves?