sonofa...
A colleague (let's call him Jimmy The Piss-ant) went home early today with symptoms of a virus. One of the close family members of Jimmy has had a nasty illness for the past week, and he's displaying the same symptoms so we're assuming it's the same thing.
I'm supposed to be going to Sarah's tonight to help her look after her sister's 1-and-a-half month old baby, but I'm starting to feel a bit dodgy myself (and my bathroom agrees with me). Now it could just be temporary hypochondriasis, or it could actually be that I now have this virus too. And even if it is just me being paranoid, I might still be carrying the germs that passes this illness around.
The logical side of me says I shouldn't go and hang out with an infant when there's a chance it'll catch shit-and-vomit disease, but Sarah's a very sensitive woman and the other side of my brain tells me that leaving her on her own with a five year old and a baby proves I'm a total arsehole. And after the phone conversation I just had with her, I know she thinks I'm an arsehole too.
So, what do I do? There's no way I can risk giving an evil virus to a baby, so how do I make my better half feel less upset?
9 comments:
Been feeling rough too today, different thing, just sneezy and have a crappy throat.
Hope you sorted something out!
I haven't been to work since thursday, went to the doctor today, appears I've got myself a brand-spankingly new virus-bronchite (or something, not sure what it's called in spinglish).
I have no idea what you should do about your woman-thing, I'm useless when it comes to things like that.
Kill the baby. Think about it - could a dead baby catch a virus? Also, it will save you a helluva lot of effort changing it's diapers and whatnot. Dead babies don't shit.
i'm sure you wouldn't make up an excuse for not coming because you're lazy, or because you don't want to see Sarah.
I think she understands that too, the health and safety of a vulnerable infant is far more important than Sarah being upset, in the long run she will understand. And if she doesn't - then that is just too bad!
You don't need be no rocket scientist to see that combining viruses and babies can in the worst cases be fatal. I don't know what you think, but either you think of the baby, or you shut the fuck up.
/viking out.
Man, wenches are mad. Yours seems particularly loony. You should hire someone to kidnap the baby and put it in a sterile bubble inside a locked hermatically sealed laboratory.
Then you can go round and see her. When she finally freaks and realises the Baby is gone she'll go mad at you for taking away the baby. This is when you reveal that the baby is all safe in it's bubble, and she realises what a loon she's being.
Plus the advantage with this plan is that at the end of it all, your lady realises she's being more mad than a barrelfull of monkeys on magic mushrooms, and plus, you get a big football with a person inside.
Either that, or just give the kid a virus. Everybody knows there are too many sickly children out there cos they never get exposed to this sort of stuff and build up immunities to diseases.
It's well known that if you never get exposed to dirt or germs, when you finally do it'll affect you a lot worse than if you'd eeaten mud for the first three years of your life...
Ryaninja said:
Everybody knows there are too many sickly children out there cos they never get exposed to this sort of stuff and build up immunities to diseases.
It's well known that if you never get exposed to dirt or germs, when you finally do it'll affect you a lot worse than if you'd eeaten mud for the first three years of your life...
Word!
Yep! Sarah doesn't give Ryan calpol or shit like that for that exact reason.
If I was carrying a mere cold, I'd have gone down there without worrying about it, but this virus was worse - hospitals have closed wards because of it.
It turns out John hasn't caught it, which means I haven't caught it either. John's illness was just the beginning of flu, and my dodgy guts was just a coincidence.
Sarah saw things more clearly the next day. She was just tired and emotional, but everything's cleared up now.
Tora Said...
Word!
Word!!! :D
So did you kill the baby or not. COME ON MAN START MAKING SENSE!
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