700 posts, 7 things

Well, Detweiler tagged me on this damned 7 things tweet chain, so I have to carry it on. It's the law, and if I don't post it, 7 million people will die in the next 7 days as a direct result of my laziness. And as this is my 700th blog post, it seem fitting to bestow upon you this utter shit that you probably couldn't give a fuck less about. So here goes.

7 things (you may or may not know about me)

I'm very proud of my taste in music. Not necessarily some of the music I listen to, because some of it is, by regular standards, fucking terrible. I mean, I really like McFly even though it's bog-standard pop cheese, but shit off cockneck; I like it because it makes me happy. I like Evanescence because her voice makes me cream my boxers. I like Mr Bungle because his voice makes me cream my boxers. I like Prodigy because it's fucking wicked. I like Keane because it reminds me of some very good times in my life. I like metal and funk and jazz and pop and trance and alternative and punk... I like all kinds of shit, and I like that I like all kinds of shit. I know most of you people out there are the same, and can listen to just about anything, so I hope you're proud of your wide and varied tastes too. That said, I have always hated country & western music with a passion. But I think Dolly Parton is awesome - not her music, just her.

I'm immensely shy around people I don't know, while totally hitting the other end of the scale when I'm around friends. I'm not sure if it's part of being British and I don't want to embarass myself in front of strangers, or whatever. But I'll totally make a twat of myself in front of my mates, and I'll have a damn good time doing it. The only exception to this rule is with music. If I'm singing, or playing guitar in front of strangers, I'll still make a twat of myself and love it. And as always, this extroverted behaviour is multiplied when booze is involved. I can be a very loud drunk around friends. But if I'm in a nightclub (which is very rare) and I'm expected to meet new people, I clam up. I'd much rather sit in a corner talking to one or two friends, but the nightclub noise makes it difficult.

I'm too nice. I let people walk all over me, and I'll bend over backwards just to please most people. If someone needs a lift back from Plymouth at 2 in the morning, I'll get out of bed and drive to pick them up (this has happened). If some old lady down the hall needs me to go do her shopping for her, I'll do it (again, happened). I know it's nice to be nice, but sometimes I take it too far and people take the piss for it. This has landed me in several very bad, one-sided relationships. I should toughen up and learn to say "No". And "get a fucking job or do some housework".

On the plus side, I give quite a bit to charity and I've been doing youth work as a volunteer for 10 years. Yeah that's right, now you have to love me.

I still don't have any tattoos. I have a fear of permanence. I got my lip piercing instead of a tattoo because I figured I could take it out if I got sick of it. That was 10 years ago, and I'm still not sick of it. I keep thinking "well, I don't know if I'll find a design I like enough to keep for the rest of my life" but I know that's bullshit. I've wanted a tattoo of a lizard, on the upper left part of my chest, since I was in my early teens, yet something in the back of my head keeps screaming "WHAT IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND?!?!" and I never book it in.

Cous cous makes me heave. I can't stand the smell, the texture, the taste... Even the look of it makes me want to start laughing carrots at the carpet. When the guy behind me at work brings it in for lunch, I have to concentrate on something else and try not to let the smell overpower me. Sometimes I have to leave the room for a while. If aliens invaded with the soul intent of eradicating cous cous for the rest of eternity, I'd be a happy bunny. Evil fucking stuff. It should be locked away forever, in a vault on the moon, along with Noel Edmonds and country and western music.

I like made up words. I like making them up, and I like using other people's. From Mr Burns' "velocitator and decelematrix" to Trys' "elsewise" via somebody's "twunt", words that aren't real words are like honey to my vocabularBEE. See what I did there? Yeah, I know, you're amazed. But I'm also a bit of a spelling and grammar nazi, which is one of the reasons I hate MS Word so much. Anywayses, the best made up words are definitely swears. Thundercunt, fuckknuckles, cockstick, they're all good with comedy and they roll off the tongue.

I love learning new stuff. I loved School, but I realised it waaaay too late. I loved Maths, Science, Music, English, French... I still love it all now! I love learning new languages - especially insults - but am often too lazy to study it by myself. If someone's helping me, I'm in my element, but if I'm on my own with a foreign language book I get bored after a few minutes. Science and Maths are different though. Physics books are wonderful, especially when they confuse the shit out of me, because I love trying to get my head around it all.

When I was supposed to be studying my French, Chemistry and Maths A-levels, I went up the park and got stoned with my mates instead. Everyone used to say "School Sucks" and somehow they convinced me. I wish I'd tried harder back then, but there's no use worrying about it now. No use regretting it when I could be spending that time learning new stuff instead!

Damn, writing this post was hard, and has taken me well over an hour. Now I have to think of 7 other twitter users to tag....

@fatherjack
@toralya
@jack_franklin
@sniffyjenkins
@imarco
@zombiepresident
@akelaa

You guys have to post 7 things now. Go!

Edit - @TBMimsTheThird did this awesome list of 7things posts.