The ultimate anti-productivity tool

Distributed computing is a method of computer processing in which different parts of a program are run simultaneously on two or more computers that are communicating with each other over a network.

Essentially it's a bunch of computers working on the same task in order to complete it faster than it'd take a single computer. Examples of distributed computing include SETI@home and the Folding@home project on the Playstation 3.

With all these tasks getting done in a much shorted timespan, there's plenty of left-over hours in which to do other stuff. But WHAT stuff? Projects like this are creating empty time and it's a waste.

That is, it WAS a waste, until now...

I've come up with the perfect antidote to distributed computing. The anti-productivity solution we've all been looking for. Ladies and Gentlecunts, I give you distributed printing.

So you've had a distributed computing project on the go for a while now, and it's time to publish the results of your findings. You COULD hit the print button and get it all from one printer... But where's the fun in that? You're still got all those empty hours that could have been filled with the normal computing time...

Distributed printing solves this problem by printing only certain letters of your report to your normal printer. It also prints some letters to the printer down in accounts, and some to the reception laserjet. Part of it may come out in the marketing photocopier and maybe, just maybe, Personnel's fax machine might shit out a little bit of the third paragraph. This is where the fun starts. Thanks to the MARVEL that is distributed printing, it's now your task to run around collecting up the print-outs. How much FUN could you have in the office with this?! Like, a HUNDRED fun! Maybe even MORE! And this could exponentially increase when more people hit that DISTRIBUTED PRINT button. And THEN you get the joy of collating! Cutting & pasting words and letters back together to form your completed report.

So there you have it. The ULTIMATE wasted time filler, bought to you by FOSS (gargle slupr gargle slurp).