Richards!
The BBC reckons Keith Richards is writing an autobiography. I pity the poor shit that has to translate his scrawlings into actual words. Unless he's going to dictate the whole thing, of course. In which case the book will probably look something like this:
raaarrrr grrrrrfff oahahhhhrrrr aar rwwwarhuwwrr hahrrrj kefump
I'm not entirely sure what that meant, but my best guess is that involved a mongoose and four litres of cream.
Here's my autobiography:
Born. School. Moved house. More school, good grades. A levels, marijuana, bad grades. Good career. Formed Captain C*smic and the Daves. Ruled universe.
5 comments:
you forgot to mention the part where you learned about self gratification.
Mine's like:
Born. Moved house. Moved house. Moved house. Moved house. School. Get glasses. More school. Get stronger glasses. More school, good grades. Stronger glasses. More school. Stronger glasses. More school, worse grades. Become electrician. Stronger glasses. Become student. Rock your world.
I cut out a few "Stronger glasses" and "moved house" to make it seem less repetitive.
So did each move come when the current house began to look fuzzy around the edges?
Mine is more like:
Born, schooled, never moved, stab, stab, stab, hide bodies, cover window in aluminum foil, watch for government UFO's.
If I put in all the sneak out late at nights to buy beer and steal domesticated animals, this thing would go on for days.
Your mercy astounds us all.
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