The Great Onion Tornado

German scientist Francrapula Schwitzturd invented the vegetable weather machine ("Die Weggie-Veather Machinen" or WVM) in August '06. Having been granted no less that four million patents for his idea, it was finally ready to go into mass production. His future looked bright - a WVM in every home in Europe! After all, who wouldn't want to control the local weather via a handsome and tasty broccoli/cabbage interface?

"What the fuck are you on about, Foss?" I hear you ask.. Well, this is what the fuck I'm on about. This paragraph right here is what the fuck I'm on about. The reason you've never heard of the WVM is that it's production was cancelled a mere two hours before it was due to begin. The reason behind it's cancellation?

The Great Onion Tornado...

Turns out that, not only did the WVM control the weather, but through a design fault it also spewed it's contents into the sky. A few root vegetables too many and KAFUCKINGBLAMMO! A maelstrom of red and white onion chunks swirling at blistering headspeeds would leave nothing but destruction in it's wake. Totalling rooftops, gutchunking livestock and disintegrating clowns, the Great Onion Tornado of Hamburg would be the governments greatest cover-up.

It's just ironic that a machine designed with vegetables would transform the city and murder the inhabitants (ie Hamburgers) FOREVER.

Also, pancakes were involved.

Open your eyes