Oh, shit off!
Is this the kind of shit that passes itself off as news in Cornwall? Well excuse me if I don't look impressed, but I was expecting something a little more hard hitting. Plane crashes or murders, maybe. Possibly even a fatal car crash. But no, nothing ever happens in Cornwall.
A photo of the headland hotel in Newquay has been chosen as the cover of the AA's "Britain's Best Hotels" guide. Whoop-de-fucking-doo. And if the fact that this isn't really news isn't bad enough, it's totally flawed to boot!
The Headland isn't exactly the most classy of places to stay. I find it hard to believe that an shitty old building overlooking fistral beach* is really the best image to use as a representation of Britain's finest hotels.
We do feel it is appropriate our photograph has been chosen for this guide given the feedback we receive from our guests
And what feedback was that, Mr Curtis? Was it some rancid trollop drunkenly slurring "nice bar" on her way out one evening? Was it a ragged old codger complementing you on your choice of flowery wallpaper back in the 70s? Or was it one of them manky dredlocked traveller types welcoming the site of a glorified B&B at the end of a long and arduous journey in his VW campervan?
If I'd been walking round Newquay all day, being bothered by it's toothless inbred inhabitants, I'd welcome the site of a 24 hour bar too. It doesn't matter which hotel it's in!
*fistral is not only a well known beach for staging international surfing championships, it's also a glorified sewer. In fact, "fistral" means "festering anal seepage" in the old Cornish.
9 comments:
Hmm, you really aught to just go to fistral and explode a few tourists, you seem to have a bit of pent up aggression going on.
Or have a go at a huuuuuuge wumpet for a few hours.
And maybe kick a snibbet, just to be sure.
i think you should tattoo "Cornwall Sucks" on the old nut sack and go to work sans trousers for the next week. That should make the news.
I gots the internets again!!!
Barely more than a week since I moved house and BT delivered the dump truck full of tubes enabling me to send you this internets.
Now I must go back to digging out the cellar...
Chris.
Nice one chris,
Oh and I second whatever it was what jeff had said with his mouthfingers.
ahahahahahaha!
well written Foss, you tosser.
Foss, if ye feel Britain has done you wrong, sign the petition for British reparations!
http://www.britishreparations.org/
http://www.britishreparations.org/
According to that site, some of its members suffered injustice from Britain nearly 500 years ago.
Patient people, patient people.
Oh, by the way, I've done Britain wrong a few times. Can that site help me with that too?
How come none of you is over at Ryan's place making up pirate jokes? I can't do it all you know.
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