"Unfortunately we're experiencing a few technical difficulties at the moment, meaning some pages are unavailable."
I've been wanting to email you for a while but this message keeps appearing.
Also my complaint email to Scottish Power was squashed (I sent it to two different addresses.) I then tried 'phoning them but bizarrely I got onto the 'gas leak emergency report line' and then my phone refused to hang up. It shrieked at me every few minutes till I unplugged the fucker.
I'm expecting fire engines to turn up any minute.
Same thing happened when I tried to stab myself to death. Got some bored-sounding bugger on the line asking me to release the phone line as 'real' emergencies could be happening 'right now!'.
I pretended to laboriously try to hang the phone up, making as many agonising noises as I could, (was actually genuinely viscerally painful as it happens) till the cunt woke up properly and begged me to stop moving and wait till the ambulance arrived. Response of the paramedics over my phone, when they got to me, and I told them the phone was still connected to the Emergency Control Centre? "FUCK OFF, OVER."
'Taking headphones off and gingerly plugging phone back in.'
Turns out a plastic nub on my 'phone is knackered. This phone already varies the volume of its ringtone according to the angle of books placed adjacent to it.
The other electrical appliance I bought from a Shelter shop is a George Foreman grill. Non-stick shite is useless, but otherwise it makes great fry-ups! Can't beat corrugated eggs.
5 comments:
wow! i agree! alot <3
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"Unfortunately we're experiencing a few technical difficulties at the moment, meaning some pages are unavailable."
I've been wanting to email you for a while but this message keeps appearing.
Also my complaint email to Scottish Power was squashed (I sent it to two different addresses.) I then tried 'phoning them but bizarrely I got onto the 'gas leak emergency report line' and then my phone refused to hang up. It shrieked at me every few minutes till I unplugged the fucker.
I'm expecting fire engines to turn up any minute.
Same thing happened when I tried to stab myself to death. Got some bored-sounding bugger on the line asking me to release the phone line as 'real' emergencies could be happening 'right now!'.
I pretended to laboriously try to hang the phone up, making as many agonising noises as I could, (was actually genuinely viscerally painful as it happens) till the cunt woke up properly and begged me to stop moving and wait till the ambulance arrived.
Response of the paramedics over my phone, when they got to me, and I told them the phone was still connected to the Emergency Control Centre? "FUCK OFF, OVER."
'Taking headphones off and gingerly plugging phone back in.'
Turns out a plastic nub on my 'phone is knackered.
This phone already varies the volume of its ringtone according to the angle of books placed adjacent to it.
The other electrical appliance I bought from a Shelter shop is a George Foreman grill. Non-stick shite is useless, but otherwise it makes great fry-ups!
Can't beat corrugated eggs.
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