Jump, motherfucker, jump!

Today is February 29th. The smarter ones among you may realise that this date doesn't come around every year - in fact it only occurs once every four years, and there's a good reason for it. Allow me to elaborate.

It takes the Earth approximately 365 days and 6 hours to make a complete orbit around our solar system's central star - we call it the Sun. Now, crazy people have decreed that a regular year lasts 365 days, so every year the extra 6 hours are stashed away in the Sun's special handbag. The solar satchel can hold a maximum of 24 hours, which means it becomes full every 4 years. The Sun checks the contents of the bag on February 28th, and if it looks like it's about to overflow, the Sun will empty the bag all over the Earth, which is where our extra day comes from.

The Sun was discovered in 1925 by Alfred Cocksloppy, a German astrophysicist famous for his flamboyant moustache. You can't get anywhere in science without an amazing Schnurrbart, you know. He was going to name the star after his son, but accidentally mispelled it Sun, and the name stuck. Other names for the Sun include Sol, Solaris and Jeff. Interestingly, Cocksloppy is also responsible for the naming of the Moon, which was yet another mispelling, this time of the word "daughter". What a stupid cunt.

I've just eaten a pasty. It was delicious. 9/10.

Being a once-in-every-four-year occurence, it's customary to perform strange and wonderful rituals. For example, the Swiss use February 29th to make chocolate and clocks. In Russia, today is the only day when it's legal to drink Vodka. Today is also the day French women have a shower and shave their armpits.

In England, people say it's acceptable for a woman to propose marriage to a man on this day. Personally I find it annoying. Only a small percentage of the female population know me, and marriage proposals from strangers are unacceptable.

Unless it's Kylie.

What strange customs does February 29th bring for your country?

instrumental