I had an idea.
I've had an idea. It involves a) teflon, b) penguins c) a thousand and one sticks of butter and d) a big-ass spring. I'm talking huge here.
Now I know what you're thinking (omar...) but it's nothing sexual. Bear with me on this one.
Ok, what do those first three things have in common? They're slippery as fuck! Yeah, that's right! You may not think penguins are that slippery, but I'll tell you joey screw-screw, I've seen 'em sliding down those arctic slopes on their bellies. Man, they'd give my all-time NASCAR HERO TOM CRUISE IN DAYS OF THUNDER a run for his money when it comes to CATCHING THE K's yo.
So you get a teflon-coated tube exactly one penguingut wide (it's a real scientific measurement), put the spring at the bottom of it, cover the penguin in a thousand sticks of butter and ling it down the tube onto the spring. HEY MOTHERFUCKING PRESTO BITCH! The first living creature to hit light-speed, and you didn't have to spend billions of tax-payers hard-earned britdollars to get there. Also there's no fuel to clean up. Not like my last welcome home party, when my drunk brother though it'd be fun to drive a lawn mower into the pool.
Plus, you have one stick of butter left over. A celebratory treat for you and your loved one whoever that may be. Hey, I ain't judgin' man. You wanna be with that horse-faced muntress, that's your own fault. She better like butter though 'cause it's time to celebrate!
Stay frosty, tittiecakes. You know I love you!
4 comments:
assuming that a falling object accelerates at a rate of 9.8 m per second per second, it would take one hell of a long tube to enable the penguin to reach a speed of 299,792,458 meters/second. Also, the penguin would actually have to be traveling faster than that as the spring is certain to consume a bit of the energy and convert it to heat or noise or high sugar content breakfast cereal. and i did not even get into wind resistance here. does your tube exist in a vacuum?
No like, dude, like the penguin will be KILLER FAT yo, and it's fatness and phatness and killer freshness will make it supersmooth and it'll supersliiide to the speed of light and be totally, like, stoked, dude.
I started to write a reply to this, but it became very long, so I decided to make a post about it instead.
Click here to see it.
Thats fucking genius dude. Nice one.
hehehe!
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