Half man half biscuit - Breaking News

If you haven't heard it, you can find it here:
http://comedy.allinfoabout.com/break.html.

Lyrics:

We're just receiving reports of an incident at a farm in sussex where a number of people have been arrested in connection with 'annoying the nation'

it is believed that the owner of the farm, Mr Hibbet, has been cooperating with the police and government officials, in a plot codenamed "OPERATION: Less Pricks" and kindly granted permission for the use of his 17th Century tithe barn as a temporary holding place for those arrested.

although not confirmed, we are led to understand that those already charged include:

* bus drivers who dont wait for people to sit down before pulling away from the bus stop
* taxi drivers who use their horns instead of knocking on the door
* people who moan at the council about the streets being full of litter, not stopping to think that it is people who drop litter and not the council
* a room full of drama teachers listening to björk
* grown men who wrap up their shits worn over their jumpers who stand up and stretch out their arms when the opposing team fail to hit the target
* an assortment of scriptwriters, novelists and playwrites; who own Agas and don't know how to use them
* a musical equipment reviewer responsible for an article entitled 'microphone of the month'
* a woman who described herself as 'a little bit Bridget, a little bit Ally and a little bit Sex in the City; and chose to call her baby boy 'Fred' as a childishly rebelious attempt at a clever reaction to those who might have expected her to call him Julian or Rupert. [a bit of advice: call him Rupert, it fits and besides its a good name don't be calling him Fred or Archie with all its cheeky lovable working-class skamp connotations unless you really do have plans for him to spend his life in William Hills waiting for them to weigh in at Newton Abbot


Also being held is,

* a whole wall full of teenagers spitting needlessly
* an amateur thug in camoflague trousers who's japanese fighting dog had run amok on a swindon council estate
* a man from the record company who said that George Michael continues to challenge social taboos through his music
* Lisa Riley
* continuity announcers introducing comedy shows
* a pub band who get uppity when everyone goes to the bar during a song they have written themselves
* a group of football fans referred to the Commadores, as in, "once, twice, three times a season" who feed sugar lumps to police horses at cup finals
* an artist who said his next album will be more 'song based'
* a man who informs people that he gets up at 6am every morning and seems to want a medal
* people who say they speak as they find and are somehow proud of it
* journalists who try to spell and interviewee's laugh
* an organisation who declared an awareness week for 'awareness weeks'
* and a council worker who dropped litter



we will be bring you more details as they emerge.